The pseudonym The Filmonista came to me back in 2006 one night while lying in bed, desperate for sleep. I was listening to my neighbor slam her vacuum cleaner repeatedly against what sounded like an aluminum garbage can directly above my head.
I can’t for the life of me remember what caused my brain to shift from thoughts of ritual beatings to a sophisticated blend of words but…what can I say?
Being Ann Marie Woolsey-Johnson (happy honey?) is never easy.
But being the Filmonista is a cinch.
Except in 2010 when everyone has the same schtick as you.
Then it’s not so cool.
Here are some strategic thoughts on how I intend to compete with the film blog cesspool… I mean, community.
1) Post P’shopped nude photos of Kristen Bell and Jonah Hill…maybe a little genital swapping?
2) Start a cult that worships Wes Anderson and his hipster/yupster lemmings.
3) Begin posting excerpts from my screenplay, “Vacuum Cleaner Ninjas From Hell*”
*”From Heck” if I ever expect to be picked up by Disney.
4) Start an etsy shop (linked to filmonista.blogspot, of course!) that sells silk screen tees of Stephenie Meyer in a prohibition sign/no symbol.
Your reading pleasure (or disgust) is my NUMBER ONE priority, kids.
So, next time you find yourself asking, “Who cares about The Filmonista?”, just remember, The Filmonista cares about you.