Honey, I Shrunk the Plot.

You would do that, Joe Johnston, now wouldn’t you?
Who kidnapped Mark Romanek? I feel so cheated on this one.

Wolfman is a shameful remake of 1941’s Wolf Man; it lacks character development, suspense, and relies heavily on desperate special effects that were obviously done and then done again…aaaaand again. But that’s not the real problem here; the story twists and turns so frequently that you barely have time to adjust to the next scene.
Now, I’m not a terribly patient person, but throw a girl some suspense, wouldja?
I realize the original suffers from the same sparseness of plot, but why not at least try to get it right the second time around?

The great thing about ’41’s Wolf Man is the acting. Lon Chaney, Jr. convinces me that he’s tormented. Del Toro (the least likely to be chosen to play a British guy named ‘Larry’ if you ask me) does not … I just don’t feel his transformation.
Is it me, or does his disposition seem to improve? That’s just cuckoo.
My head hurts.

It’s very upsetting to me that such a tremendous cast can fail so miserably. I like Emily Blunt; I feel like her and I would totally be homies in real life. Check it out: we both have dark, wavy hair, she’s British, I’m (1/4) British, she hates Photoshop, I hate Photoshop.
Ok, I’ll be serious. I like her because she’s mysterious and seems up to the task of delivering complexity of character, but apparently my expectations are too high.
D+ at best, sweetheart.
And I’m sorry… maybe I’m being severe (nothing new), but how am I supposed to believe Hopkins (Sir John Talbot) when he basically re-hashes like 90% of his character from 1999’s disastrous Instinct?
You know, on second thought, he’s been replaying the same character for over 20 years now and, remarkably, still manages to find work!

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.


Romanek would have never let this happen; he would’ve given us something to sink our teeth into (sorry, couldn’t resist).


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