Why I Yearn for the 90’s Jeremy Piven.

When did the chubby, cynical, and balding supporting actor role become something to be ashamed of in Jeremy Piven’s world?

Yesterday, I OnDemanded 2006’s “Smokin’ Aces” because I love, well..I can remember a day when I loved Jeremy Piven.

What happened to the days of wife beaters and beer guts; when it was cute to have “more to love”?
Not edgy enough, I suppose.

Especially when you’re starring in a Joe Carnahan flick.
I mean, seriously, this guy knows his stuff. What other director can successfully rip- off Tarantino, Scorsese and Ridley Scott in the course of approx. 90 minutes?

For those of you who haven’t seen “Smokin’ Aces” (and please, don’t waste your beer money on this one), Piven plays Buddy Israel- a Vegas performer who also happens to be the son of a mob boss.
He has about 10 lines throughout the entire movie, none of which are poignant or thrilling by any means. Unless, “You with me, baby?” really turns your crank.

Piven’s character in a nutshell is as follows:

He yells at prostitutes and his manager (Curtis Armstrong- 80’s “Nerd” Booger from Revenge of the Nerds & Charles De Mar from Better Off Dead).
He runs his right hand through his “hair”
He snorts cocaine in a purple house robe- he’s actually seen wearing it throughout most of the movie.
He does some card tricks pulling aces, yes ACES, out of his deck.
He runs both hands through his “hair”.
He stares at himself in the mirror while some Vegas lounge music plays in the background.
He ends up in a hospital bed.

My favorite all time role of Piven’s is James “Droz” Andrews in 1994’s PCU.
This guy was all about confidence and spunk.
He didn’t need hair then- he had enough on his torso to start his own hair plug dynasty.

So why the heck does he need hair now (that is, on his head)?

I blame Entourage. I mean Hollywood….um, wait a minute, I mean Entourage.
I think.

Send me comments kids…
Let’s get into it.


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